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I love blogsurfing. I love reading my fave blogs. I really love when they read me, too! I love making bloggy friends! Essentially I am a shy gal, and it's hard to put myself out there, always fearing rejection.
Somehow I thought it'd be different in the world of blogging. I joined all the social blog networking sites, and have met quite a few awesome bloggers like that. I am even honored to have some of my fave and quite popular sites link to me and stop by. It truly makes my day.
Then there's the rejection. There are a couple blogs I read & greatly admire, and I comment occasionally, or try to talk to on those social networking sites, and get nothing back. Not even the generic "Thanks for stopping by" comment or email. I feel so sad, and unloved. Stupid, I know. Then I tell myself "Well, maybe they just overlooked my post or comment, so I'll try again'. Nothing. Then I see they're reading and commenting on all of the blogs in my 'circle'. My blog's nice, right? (pun intended)
I always visit the blogs of people who've visited & commented on mine. If I'm slacking for a couple days, it's only because life gets in the way, and I will be around soon. If for some reason You have left me a comment & I haven't come by to say hi, I SO apologize- it does mean I missed it somehow- just write me a nasty little email & I'll feel so terrible that I'll make it a top priority to read often!
So I've stopped commenting on some of said blogs. A few I can't help but read- Names are being withheld to protect the innocent and offended. There are several I still read & now only lurk, but I cut out the ones I could live without. Afterall, I have a full reader list that I usually can't get through in one day, and they all stop by & give comments to make me feel semi popular.
This is not a pity post- I don't want your pity(okay, I'll take it if it means you'll be my friend). I just want to know, have you had this happen to you? If so, do you take it personally like I do?
***Now I feel like an ass. Somebody went & told the cool kids... :P (post amended)
-----
On a brighter note, one of my best bloggy buddies, Ashley of Boss Sanders who also has the parenting blog First Impressions gave me this really cool award(a little while ago)! See, my blog IS nice!
So I'm spreading the love on to:
Angie at Keep Believing
Dawn at Renaissance Mama
My High School & LSU (Geaux Tigers!)co-conspirator Wendy at Curiouser and Curiouser
and Cablegirl at 42
Hugs to you all, and Have a Happy Earth Day!
39 comments:
Awww, thanks for the nice award :) Your blog makes my day also. I've been there with what your talking about with the blog comments. I've sort of categorized blogs I read into two categories- blogs I read and leave comments as often as I can on, and blogs I read but rarely leave comments on because they don't seem to care if I do or not-those are usually blogs with so many readers they probably just can't keep up on every comment(at least that's what I tell myself when I never hear back ;)
Nissa.. I heart you and your blog!!!
I happen to think that you have a rather luscious blog. :) I happen to be a really great reader/lurker and a not so hot commenter (but thought that this was a post to de-lurk on). I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I do everything from my reader and tell myself that I'll head over and comment later... and then don't.
Same thing with the social network thing. heck, I forget that cre8buzz is there. :)
So even though my blog's not really that popular and you may or may not consider me to be in that "don't care" category, I thought I'd let you know that I read you religiously via Google reader.
... as I'm sure all of the cool kids do as well. Which actully makes you "coooler", right? LOL.
I've given up trying to figure out who'll respond to comments or return my visits--sometimes it's the unlikeliest people. And I try not to take it personally, because I know there are times when I get too busy to respond to comments, too.
You know, I get this. And I'm glad you blogged about it honestly... I try to visit every blog who comes to mine, too... and I think it's just a common courtesy. :)
I think your awesome and I remember the day I found your blog!
Claiming to be uncool in spite of being as cool as you are? Pretty sneaky, sis.
Hopefully you know that I read every word but try to keep my lewd and unappropriated comments to myself :)
It's a lot of fun to get comments and to leave them too. For a while, I couldn't even figure out HOW to leave one. Some people don't have Google, someone told me she had a problem because of that.
My main problem is that I forget where I commented!
@Dawn -That's a good point- some do have a ton of readers! I'm glad you have felt similarly, too. Well, not that it's a good thing- I guess misery loves company? ;)
@Kim - I know, you're a true bloggy friend and yours is one of those popular sites that I'm so lucky to be associated with! xoxo
@Courtney -I had NO idea you come by! I do feel special now, especially since I regularly stalk you! I also still check your design site to see what's new in the works!
@Darla -yeah, I think we all get too busy sometimes. I'm trying not to take it personally..
@Misty - I'm so glad you get it. You're a sweetie!
@Jason- I know you come by; you're just too cool to usually comment ;) or maybe you're afraid you'll get kicked out of the semi probloggers club!
@SavvyMom - It really is fun to comment & get comments!
I understand completely. I leave comments...and a lot of times they aren't responded to...but then maybe they are just not as chatty as me. I seem to have "real" conversations going on in my comment section! There are a few blogs that I read daily but never comment on...as there are already 200+ comments by the time I get over there.
I love your blog and your comments. I know exactly what you mean though. . I make fun of myself for it sometimes, but when I comment on someones blog frequently and never get any sort of response I feel snubbed. Which is silly, but still true. Either way, I enjoy your blog. :)
I know exactly how you feel. I am just now trying to get my blog noticed by commenting on other people's blogs. Trust me it doesn't always work. You just have to meet the right "bloggy friends." I hope we can be Bloggy Friends! I'll certianly visit you and comment on your blog.
Cascia @ Healthy Moms
http://thehealthymoms.blogspot.com
You do have a lusicious blog... I have stopped going by some blogs and commenting just for those same reasons. I try to go to every commentors' site and share the love. I don't take it personally when they don't leave comments, but I would love to see them come by for a visit now and then, just to know they are there.
I think your blog is awesome! I don't always comment because I read from my reader too and everytime I try and sit at the computer one of the damn brats needs something! But I think you rock girl!
I'm right there with you. I have a long rejection list as well. A long line of friend requests that have gone unanswered. I can relate to this post in many ways. If I leave the blogosphere for just a day or so for anything....my stats cut in half!
Can us uncool kids have our own table to sit at ? :)
I know how you feel! I was really bad last week and didn't respond to comments on my blog as well as I usually do. I felt terrible about it, enough so, that this week, it's the first thing I do in the morning, respond to comments. I don't want to let that slide.
Legos? Check. Busy? Check. Feel like crap? check.
Nissa, let me just apologize to you publicly. Ever since I was the last kid picked in gym class, ever since I was the kid who had no one to dance with during Stairway to Heaven (yikes, my stomach hurts just thinking about it), ever since I started this blog and wrote a personal email not asking for a link but just expressing my admiration from one of the gods of daddy bloggers (and didn't even get a response back), I made it my life's mission to never make anyone feel left out or uncool.
So this one really strikes me deep. Most people would just say "ah, I have 500 other blogs to visit and I can't get to all of them" - but I am not that guy. I take it to heart that you thought I deemed you "uncool" to visit. It was never my intention. I don't judge like that.
When I had a job, I had 1 hour a day (out the door at 6am, back home by 8, wife decreed I had to be in bed by eleven) to catch up on blog stuff (after my chores). My reader blew up to 1000+ unread posts. After I lost my job, I tried to catch up, and even made a spreadsheet (yes, I am THAT nerdy) that listed all the URLs of people who left comments on my blog to catch up with. But job interviews and the wife's house to-do list kept getting in the way.
I like to think of himself as reciprocal and appreciative. If I'm not doing that successfully, I will take actions to correct it.
The blogs I do make it a point to visit with happen to be blogger with whom I've stuck up friendships with out side of the usual blogging, so yes, they are on the spreadsheet (nerd!!!) coded RED. But other than that, I try my best to visit as many blogs as possible given my time constraints.
So... (sorry for the long winded message) I appreciate that you raised your hand. I pretty much enjoy reading about peoples' lives and all blogs interest me. I have made no judgment about you or your blog by being scarce on the visits/comments. So, if I visit, it is NOT out of pity. It is because you made an effort to reach out and smack me on the head.
Friends?
I'm not one of the cool kids either :)
Oh I hear ya. It is always weird to me when I have a regular commentor that just stops commenting. I always wonder if I offended them somehow, or what I said that I shouldn't have. I've stopped that now. I figure, people have lives and some just don't have time to comment on every single site they come across. They have to pick their favs, and if I'm not a fav that is okay too. No biggie. :)
I happen to love your blog!
@Kat- I know, some people are just TOO popular. ;)
@Amanda- It's great to hear that evn an ubercool blogger like you can get like that sometimes!
@Cascia- Thanks!! Wow- maybe this pity post was good afterall- I just made a new friend!
@Tara (R.)- Yeah, just to know they stopped by would be a boost. You're great about it & now with your follow up comments..I don't know how you find the time!
@Amy- That totally makes me feel better(even though you do pop in & say hi!) I never thought about people just using their readers (I still haven't gotten the hang of that thing!).
@ Sandy- shut up, girlfriend- you're like the homecoming queen. :)
@Lynne- yeah, I feel it's necessary, but I think everyone understands if you don't make it over all the time.
@BusyDad - Seriously, who ratted me out? I now have a much better perspective now that I've received some good insight & thoughts from others. I in no way meant to imply that you're mean or 'cliquey', ws just disappointed, but I know when you work, and Stay at Home and have a Busy Blog, it's probably not even possible to visit every one of your admirers. I still love your blog.
@Tara - You're cool in my book, sweetie (although it may not mean a whole lot! haha)
@Kathryn - yep, I'm starting to realize that, too. And I'm getting okay with that. :)
*ahem*
Hi. I am Mr Lady, and I, apparently, totally suck.
I used to be super good at emailing every single commenter back, and then, well, I just had to go do my laundry. My husband was threatening divorce.
I am really, really sorry if I have made you feel unnoticed. Me? So not a heather. SO NOT. Honestly, HONESTLY, what you said to Judith is true for me, too. I had no clue you read my blog. I am flattered that you do.
And what JS said? So true for me, too. I do almost everything through a reader. Which no one can see on their trackers. Which, clearly, sucks. Also, I am the world's worst commenter.
And now I'm just groveling, so I'll shut up now. ;)
Hey beautiful! Well....I'm glad they came by, I was hoping they would (I didn't rat you out by the way lol), but there are a few blogs that are like that with me too...One of which just got dropped off my readers. Ah, hell...most of them get dropped if they choose to not EVER even comment on my blog.
So, don't feel bad, I take it a bit personally too. I know of one chic off the top of my head whose blog made it into my reader and I left her comments like um religiously and NOT ONCE has she said HI or HOWDY to me.
Apparently I'm not in that circle, but that's okay.
As for my blog, I respond to every comment ON MY BLOG, and those that comment often or who have struck up friendships with me outside of the mutual bloggy comments, they get to be in my reader. So I visit them like um...all the time.
xoxo
Ash
Sorry, Nissa. My comment was sort of wordy! Hope you feel better soon about the situation. Seems like you have a ton of comments and support on this one :)
Ok, first of all, you are so sweet for thinking of me. It's so incredibly nice to hear that I can make someone's day? The feeling, I assure you, is mutual. I LOVE your blog.
As for not hearing from the "cool kids", well, you obviously did.
I'm with Dawn about the two different types of blogs I read. There are those I like to read but don't bother commenting on because the people who run them are either too busy or don't seem to be interested in feedback. And then there are the blogs I visit because I've gotten to know the people who write them and... well, I just like the people. So, with those I always try to comment, even if it's a stupid one. :D
This does beg the question: is it better to reply to blog comments in the comments or in an email?
@Mr. Lady - Hi! Thanks for coming by!! And no, you don't suck, or I wouldn't continue to read ya! Or feel sad that you didn't notice me ;) But it's all good, now!
@Huck - You rule, babe!
@Ash - I heart you & wish we lived closer- we are so alike (except for the whole diaper thing! lol)
Nissa, I feel the same way. I put the link to my email on my blog hoping that someone would step up and want to be one of my blogging friends, like you did :)
I've had my bog up for a few months but still feel like such a newbie. I always stop by the blogs of the people who take the time to comment on mine. But I do wait for someone else to "make the first move" out of fear of rejection.
I'll be "uncool" with ya!
I stopped worrying about who reads me LONG ago. I write for me, not who reads me. And for what it's worth, I read you!!
@Cablegirl - It's one of those questions, isn't it? Some people like to get email, some want replies to their comments on the blog, and some want a comment on their blog.
The people who do all 3 are, well, Fabulously Talented!
@Sosuna - It's a tough thing, isn't it? It's like you have to have a thick skin or very outgoing personality to blog! We'll stay friends though! :)
Okay, I'm here because I am nosy ;).
Look at all your comments, BTW!
I also seem to see "circles"... some blogs get TONS of traffic and I honestly don't know how they get back to all their commenters. I don't even get that much and I totally forget where I've left comments etc. I comment a lot, so I've given up feeling "left out"... although I used to when I first became sooo addicted to blogging.
I notice that people go in cycles though; and when the weather is nicer out, real life (and kids and angry spouses) tend to get in the way (imagine that ;)
I try to stop by blogs of commenters, rather than eMail; I don't know what's the most effective, email, answer on my own blog (but I don't know if they come back !) or what I"ve been doing, just commenting back.
And lordy, cre8buzz, trying to keep up, but it's crazy!
Glad I found you, though. Your blog is great!
I know exactly how you feel...and if I were to post this post, I wouldn't get this many comments. I don't think I try as hard as you though. I don't have TIME! I have been trying to cut back on my computer time. But I do try to leave my reading list to those who return the commenting favor...so I don't blame you. I, personally, enjoy reading your blog!
You couldn't be uncool if you tried.
I had to quite the Buzz, I thought it wasn't fair that people would write to me and I didn't get to writing them back. I have noticed a huge difference in how often my blog is seen since then...so keep up what you are doing!!
You rock!!
And look at you-commenting back on every single comment...look out! You are so on top of your game!
Nissa- I started blogging COMPLETELY accidentaly! Kind of like my 3rd child! lol
In fact, I didn't even know it was called a blog. A friend of mine embedded it into my website's page and said.. hey.. here you can just post fun stuff about your farm and post pictures. I thought "Awesome!" So, I did that.
Weeks later, somebody found me and left a comment. Then somebody else. Then another. And I was like.. "What!" Honestly, I wasn't even REALLY aware of the bloggie world. And that was the beginning of THAT!
I don't think you should take it personally if people comment or not. Many, many times I read but don't comment because I can read a LOT more blogs that way! I am a GREAT LURKER for example at Shamelessly Sassy! :-)
Sorry for the book!!! XOXOXOX
I feel like this sometimes, but I just gotta try to let it go. It's hard to get around to everyone and, at times, I tend to gravitate. Ya know?
Your responses her were most worthy. I'm glad it's all cool
i totally miss you and we for sure need to catch up!!! how about an email?
xoxoxo
Haven't been reading much lately, as I took a break to visit with my parents in town and play outside in our nice weather. Thank you so much for the award and for being my friend. Also, I know how you feel. I don't comment on some of the more popular blogs, but I enjoy reading. I have to remind myself why I blog sometimes. Is it is generate traffic? No. This is not an income source. This is a hobby. Any hobby that starts to make me feel bad about myself or second guess myself needs to go. So, I prefer to stick to my more comfortable regulars. Plus, that way, they become more of my friends since I get to know them better.
KEEP BELIEVING
I'm there with ya. I try to keep up with my blog reading, and I feel guilty if I don't leave a comment every time. And, when i don't get comments from someone that I've repeatedly left comments for, it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong.
I'm trying to do better and just remember why I started blogging, to begin with. For my own enjoyment.
I love your blog. Keep up the good work.
I had to do some housecleaning on my reader; I felt guilty I wasn't getting to everyone and able to comment. You and your blog are great!
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